Discussion Topic: Do children = happiness?

I do plan on writing about topics pertaining to our roles on motherhood and interesting articles I come across and form some sort of discussion area on this, I am new to blogging, it’s been a great 3 weeks.   Right now it’s all about shopping and great stuff to get your kids.  I have a 16 month old running around our apt so I only have so much time to get stuff across and to actually sit still and type.  When he’s napping I’m cleaning or cooking and I if I have time I get some blogging done.
I’ve swapped my addiction for make up and skincare for baby carriers, cloth diapers, wooden toys, organic food and anything and everything to do with baby.  Have I lost myself? Who am I now?
No, I’m a mom.  I love my new role and it’s a privilege that I get to stay home and raise our son.  I don’t have to worry about the costs of daycare(it’s a 2-3yr waiting list!) or nannies or the type of care and attention they are giving Charlie.  A few months ago city workers went on strike here in Toronto and I felt horrible for the parents and the positions they were put in because city day cares were on strike, no garbage pick up, new moms couldn’t have the public health nurse come by and help them after just giving birth because of this stupid strike.  Shame on those public city workers. The fact that a public nurse couldn’t come to see if a newborn is latching properly and to check in to see how mom is handling her new role, most of Toronto I’m sure has forgotten this strike.  But that’s a whole other topic.
But there are woman out there who aren’t a 100% content in their in new role as Mother, they love their children but they miss the adult interaction, the after work cocktails, lazy Sundays, carefree shopping and everything else they enjoyed before baby.  I don’t blame those moms(I’m a Libra, I see both point of views all the time) they are entitled to feel that way, I see her point but I don’t agree with her.  I look at motherhood differently and I enjoy my mom groups.  The moms I hang out with are fun and we do hit the pub or cafe once in a while after our play dates.  Why not?
Times have changed since the good ‘ol days and moms today aren’t June Cleaver, what type of mom am I or you?  Do we seriously have a category and does it even matter what strangers think? 

I’m the type that if I have lemons, I’ll make lemonade.  I suit motherhood and I enjoy it, to be honest some adults are quite disappointing to hang out with(I have more fun with Charlie than some people I know) and I don’t miss the idle chit chat or the partying I once used to do.  I still go to pubs, cafes and restaurants, it’s with  my husband and our friends and yes, Charlie is with us.  Mind you, it’s once in a while and it’s just to have a beverage & some food in good company.  The place we go to is close to home, child friendly and the waitresses are smitten with Charlie.  At 16 months he knows how to flirt.  He’s already given a hug and a kiss to one of them.
I read this article on Do Children=Happiness in Red magazine and I must say I was a little stumped on the writer but she is brave for writing it.  It’s a taboo topic for an article so we’ll see who comments first. 

Read the article and post your thoughts and comments. Do you feel the same way as this writer does or the complete opposite?
http://www.salihughes.com/articles/REDkids.pdf

4 COMMENTS

  1. Nicola F | 1st Feb 10

    Hey Mama Ash – thanks for bringing this topic up for debate. Its one I have thoght about a lot over the last 3-4 months since I moved from being a working mum to a stay at home mom. I had to agree with some of the points in the Red article but not all of them. Yes, my life is sooooo different now than before motherhood. But different does not mean better or worse. To me, it means different experiences; emotions; routines; worries; challenges and highlights. The author of the article mentioned the lack of fun in her life now – I have fun chasing my 16 month son round our apartment and hearing his cute giggles! Ok – so its different to how I had fun in the past but its still fun.
    – Nicola F.

  2. Mama Ash | 1st Feb 10

    Hi Nicola,

    I agree with you. It is a different kind of fun now and it’s a healthier kind of fun chasing our tods’ around the home. How does she not have fun in life? But then again what does fun mean to her?

  3. Mama Ash | 4th Feb 10

    I hope her kids never find this article, it would be heart breaking for them to know how their mom really felt. It’s fine for her to feel that way, don’t get me wrong but I’m sure it would cause some emotional damage to them if they read it. I think some things are better kept to ones self.

  4. Little Green Mom | 16th Jun 10

    Finally got around to reading this article you told me about. I agree with Nicola. Motherhood is a drastic change, and takes a bit of adapting, too. I really felt it in the first year. And yes, it can be dull at times and certainly you feel the shocking difference in your life pre- and post-childbirth. But that doesn’t mean different is better or worse. This writer needs to embrace her new role instead of dwelling on ‘the glory days’ (read: grow up) and work at making being a parent fun and not such a chore. Sometimes it’s all about perspective. And even with a little one, you can still make room for some ‘me time’ but it won’t just fall in your lap.

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